He left.

My boyfriend left.

Damian left.

I’m not even sure If I can still call him a boyfriend.
We didn’t break up.

We didn’t even say good bye.

Instead, we both somehow just said, “See you later.”
It was really awkward but I also found it releaving to know that he too felt that way I did.
We just gave ourselfs one last hug, last kiss, and as if we rehearsed said, “I’ll see you around into each other’s ears.

Afterwards we laughed like fools.

I’m suck a sucker for detail. I love it, I could read thousands of pages just describing one item or moment.

So allow me too…
Rewind.

I left school early. He picked me up at 12.

I was so surprised, I wasn’t expecting it. I thought he’d be busy packing or going over small things like saying “good bye” to his sisters and brothers.

He pulled me into such a tight hug when I saw him, he kissed the top of my head and said, “hop on.”
& so the adventure began.

We went to buy a couple more things for his trip back to the states.
I helped him choose a quilt, some dorm stuff.
Then he took me to the most amazing place.

He took me to this library/cafe, it’s called “Alice’s garage.”

It’s basically this huuuuuuuuuge, cozy mansion. Except it’s a store.
An old store that smells of old books, coffee, and rain.
I love it.

There’s billions of books lined and stacked up in shelfs, some even on the ground.
There’s another section filled with cheap vintage records that are only a couople of cents.
They have the best coffee in the world, I promise and  it’s so peaceful in there.
My mouth formed a small “o” when I stepped in.
Damian grabbed my wrist and said, “Come on you geek, it’s better than it looks.”

We spent most of our time there.
We talked and what not. Just as we were about to leave, I just had to know two things.
I built up the courage to ask him, “Why did you take me here?”
He thought about my question for a minute and said, ” I know you love books, and that you’ll be lonely once I leave and then sad when your brother leaves. I just know this place is perfect for you.
I smiled at the thought of that.
Then, the question i’ve been dying to ask. I was shaking when I just spit the words out.
“Why me?”
I didn’t need to repeat myself, he understood.
He didn’t hesistate to answer or think, instead he said, “I’ve known you all my life, I told you I loved you when I was 8 and you were 6. You laughed and said, “ew cooties!”
We started to grow up, we saw ourselfs every summer, you saw me change my “clothing style”
Abercombrie freak, skater, rockstar, gangster, hispter, to myself, and  not once did you even make fun of me.

When my dad died, you didn’t give me your cheap 2 cent pity, all you did was sit next to me and hug me. That meant the world to me.
You didn’t have to, and yet you still did.
I cut in and said, “you would have too.”
No, I wouldn’t.
That took me by surprise.
He said, “I’m not nearly as gutsy as you are, you always have the right words to make everything better, you do things that take you out of your comfort zone.”
I can’t try new things the way you do.
It’s not as easy for me as it if for you.
Then he reached into his backpack and pulled out a black box with a lovely cursive that said, “Promise?”
He  looked me straight in the eye and said, “Do you believe in love at first sight?”
I couldn’t answer that question, I stayed mute.
Well I do, he said, because i’m pretty sure that when I first met you, I was madly in love with you.
I still could not speak.
He opened the box and 5 beautiful silver rings shined.
-You shouldn’t have I said.
Then he lightly held a finger to my lips, “shh” he said.
These where my grandma’s and she always said, “In your life, on person will come and

I knew the words by heart.
will change your life. That’s your soulmate, it’s serendipity, don’t ever let that go.

I finished the words for him.

He smiled and kissed me.

It wasn’t till I was at the airport with him that I opened the box again and took another look at the rings, they had a small engrave in them, one said, love, peace, believe, forever, and eternity.

I grabbed the believe one, then he took it away from me and knelt down and playfully said, “Oh, Juliet we are just to foolish kids who are in love, do you promise to always remember me kindly?”
Will you? I asked

He teasingly made a shocked face and said, “thee will always remember you as the most amazing, loving, WEIRD, person he has ever loved.”
Shit if I don’t marry you, i’ll still tell my kids about you.
I giggled and said, “Romeo, watch your mouth.”
He giggled too and put the shiny ring in my index finger.

We hugged and kissed one last time.
The last finale minute was here. He pulled me in closer and said, “don’t let the world soften you up, stay the way you are, please don’t change for anyone.”
I -
NO I LOVE YOU, he shouted.
People were staring but I couldn’t give one single fuck.
He kissed my cheek and said, “Serendipity, find out what it means.
I love you, I whispered.
I know that he said,

then we softly leaned into each other and whispered into our ears, “see you later.”
off he walked to take this plane.

I thought i’d cry. I’m somehow happy that I let him go.
I’m happy for whatever time we spent together, 6 months.

I still can’t believe he’s gone, I mean yes I miss him, but I’m just feeling a lot of good feelings today.

I’m happy.
He got into all the colleges he applied to, he chose San Diego State University.
I can’t wait for summer, to see him, even if we don’t kiss or whatever happens, I just want to talk to him, being with him, it changed my life so much, I have no desire to cut anymore.